Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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