i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I supernannyed him into submission
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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