I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize