At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize