I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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