Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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