we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
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i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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