Where is the hickey?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize