He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize