So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize