Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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