my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize