You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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