On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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