You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize