my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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