Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
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I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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