Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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