Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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