Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize