i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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