Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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