i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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