I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
