I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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