I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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