I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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