I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
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My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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