He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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