The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize