are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
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I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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