I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize