I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize