Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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