There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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