i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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