One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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