I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
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Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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