She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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