as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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