i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize