The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize