i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize