I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize