something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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