Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
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i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
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A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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