but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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