i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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