my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize