fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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