So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
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I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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