I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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